Episode 7

[EP 7] From Struggles to Grace w/ Amy Sands-Williamson

Published on: 27th May, 2024

Amy shares her journey of faith, starting from growing up in a small town and attending church with her family. She opens up about struggling with her identity and partying during her college years. Amy then discusses the challenges she faced when she moved to North Carolina and the feelings of loneliness and depression. Despite the difficulties, she recounts how God intervened and provided a new house and job. Amy also shares her experiences of finding Christian friends and deepening her faith through spiritual gifts. She concludes by reflecting on hearing God's voice and finding joy in her relationship with Him.

Takeaways:


• Moving to a new place can be challenging, but it can also be an opportunity for personal growth and a deeper relationship with God.

• Struggling with identity and engaging in unhealthy behaviors does not define one's faith. It is important to seek a genuine relationship with Christ.

• Loneliness and depression can be overcome through the support of Christian friends and the love of God.

• God's intervention and provision can be seen in unexpected ways, such as finding a new house and job.

• Experiencing spiritual gifts can be a transformative and powerful encounter with God.


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AMY SANDS-WILLIAMSON


LIMITLESS POEM:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cTucn9uVIQnyQQZ8ie-gWsNLuKH_off-ZOwLVefK9b8/edit

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AUTHENTIC PODCAST MINISTRY LINKS:


https://linktr.ee/authenticpodcast


SUPPORT:


https://authenticpodcast.captivate.fm/support


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FIRST EVER EPISODE!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rZiTcvF8sY&t=5392s


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LATEST TEACHING:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2ZIjXgkiQA&t=177s

Transcript
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You're tuned into the Authentic Podcast, where we explore the transformative power of embracing the reality of Jesus Christ. As we embark on this journey together, we will navigate the depths of faith and discover the profound impact that Jesus has on our spiritual walk in this space. You will find real and inspiring conversations about faith and how, as a believer, we should navigate the kingdom reality.

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We are excited that you are part of an adventure where authenticity and faith intersect. Welcome to the Authentic Podcast. Let's dive in.

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Yes. I'm glad to be here.

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It was something.

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Amen.

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Yeah. So, that is a loaded question, and, I had to sit here and kind of just, write out my journal a little bit, because, I grew up in the church, from a small town, called Sherman, New York, and it's very small. Doesn't even have any stoplights or anything in the town. It's a farm town.

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Unknown

You know, my, neighbors were all Amish, so it's just a very small town. So, I was originally from Erie, Pennsylvania, and my parents started going to Erie. First assembly, was the first church I grew up going to, and I was there for 20 plus years in that church. And, it's a beautiful church. I loved it there.

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Unknown

Love it there. I still go when I go visit home. but really, when I, when I truly feel, that I really started to build my relationship with Christ was when I moved to North Carolina and, as we go on to talk more, you'll learn about me that, I'm, I'm very much family oriented.

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And it was, a really big thing for me to move. so definitely wasn't in my plans for my life, but, but it was in God's plans for my life, and, he's really, really done a lot with that move.

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Yeah. Yeah. So, we went to church almost every Sunday. We did a couple times, try a couple of different churches that were a little closer to us because, Erie, Pennsylvania is about a half hour away from, where we lived in Sherman. So it was a little bit of a drive, especially in the wintertime. so we did try a couple other churches, but, we just always ended up going back to Erie.

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Erie first. So, you know.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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No. So for me, my parents, they're awesome parents. I could not ask for better parents. I, you know, they've been married for many years, so, going to church was like a Sunday thing. but I feel like I believed because they believed. And it was off of their faith that, that I had my faith.

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Unknown

But I didn't realize it at the time. growing up, it was just like, yeah, I'm a Christian, but I was, you know, partying on the side. And especially when I got into college, coming from a small town, it was like a whole new world for me. so again, I was calling myself Christian. I was going to Christian groups.

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Unknown

but then I was also partying on the weekends, and I was actually even partying sometimes with those Christian, the Christian group I was with. yeah. So I didn't, I didn't know what a true relationship with Christ was. I only knew what it was, that Christianity was believing in God. And Jesus died on the cross for you.

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Unknown

And, but I didn't know the relationship side of things, which is what really changed my life. When I moved here.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. Another thing that was hard. Oops. I'm sorry. No, I was just thinking, too, like, growing up, and, I really struggled with my identity as well. And which I was looking for things in all the wrong places. So, not having confidence in myself, which was then turning me to, partying and stuff like that, where I was getting attention that was not the right attention, you know, things like that, that, I was really just living in sin.

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But calling myself a Christian.

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Yeah.

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Oh, yeah, I.

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Yes, yes. So, I know with that stage that I was going through, the biggest thing I was searching for was love. I'm a very loving person. I love to love others. You know? I love to receive love. so this whole time I was searching for love again in just all the wrong places. That love through friends that weren't, great friends, you know, partying with people that I should have been partying at all, obviously.

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Unknown

But, same with, like, especially relationships and stuff that, I really struggled with my self-confidence, so, I met my now husband. his name is Calvin. So this was, after college. Right after college. He actually attended my graduation like three weeks after we started dating. So. So he was at my college graduation, but, he actually live.

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Unknown

Yeah. Shout out to Calvin, but, I, about a year and a half after dating, he proposed. And, of course, you know, as a girl especially, I feel like you, you always dream about what your marriage is going to be like, but especially as a, woman that struggled with, my identity, struggled with self-confidence. always looking for just wanting to receive love, to be loved.

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Unknown

I figured, okay, I love Calvin. It's not that I didn't love him, but, I jumped at the idea of marriage because I'm like, okay, well, marriage will change everything, right? Like it'll be better after I get married. These things that I was, struggling with, you know, it's like my relationship status changed, but I still wasn't fulfilled.

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Unknown

I was still searching, for this love that, wasn't in a man that I'd been looking for for, a long time now. And in my perspective, like I said, I was a Christian. I, you know, I thought I did have, that relationship with Christ. But again, I didn't even know what a relationship with Christ really was.

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Unknown

I just was a Christian. So, anyways, back to my move to North Carolina. So Calvin, lived with me in New York for five years, and he has, three kids, sometimes four with my youngest of five. has a sister Lumba, that, I consider like my stepdaughter as well. So, Yeah. So he so I like to say he has four kids, so I have four bonus kids.

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Unknown

but PJ and Chelsea are the oldest, and Josiah and his sister, Columbia. Josiah is the youngest. but anyways, we decided once Covid hit that, it was just the right time to move. It was getting harder to travel as much. You know, there's restrictions and everything, so it just felt like the right time in our life to, to move.

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Unknown

which that right there, I can say, was a big God moment for me because looking back now and how close I am with my family, I just had, a new niece, that was born, my first niece. So moving away during that time was like, how did I do that? I look back now and I really have no clue how I was able to pack my stuff, put it all in a car and move, you know, 700 ish miles away from my family.

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so yeah, that's what got us to move.

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I think I trying to get myself into a mindset sometimes that it's just like. Okay, this is how it is. It's what we have to do. And I just, like. I don't think about it. I just do it. so I think that's kind of like what got me here. But I will say, I remember when we were traveling here, we borrowed, well, we had already been here, actually.

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Unknown

So it's kind of a crazy story. So we moved with a pop up camper. So I lived in a pop up camper for three weeks to a month. at a campground. and so we borrowed my dad's truck, to get some of our stuff down, but not everything, because we are living in a pop up camper.

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Unknown

So, we put some stuff in my dad's truck, and we were able to pull the pop up camper, to North Carolina. Thank you, dad, for letting me use your truck. But, on the way there, we were about four hours away from our destination, and my dad's truck broke down. So, in that moment, I remember I probably lost it.

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Unknown

I, I probably got a little emotional. And, you know, I don't remember Calvin. My. But, But I know in that moment I did question, like, was this the right move? Like, like already right off the bat, on our way there, the truck breaks down. It wasn't even just a small fix. The engine blew. So we actually had to get it towed to a, random, mechanic.

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Unknown

And then we had to rent a U-Haul. My dad drove with my cousin to this place. That was 8.5 hours north, probably about six hours, actually, from where they were from or so. But, come all the way there to get the truck to take it back home. So, so that was like my first experience with moving and, it wasn't, you know, it wasn't good.

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Unknown

so we were married, living with my parents. So part of it was that we just wanted to have, our own space. You know, I felt like Calvin needed to separate a little bit to that. you know, it's not nothing against, like, my family or that anybody did anything wrong or he did anything wrong. But living with your parents can really kind of, be hard in your marriage sometimes, you know?

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Unknown

because that's still my parents, you know, and I'm very close to my family, so, like, my dad is like, my best friend. You know, my mom is like, my best friend. So, trying to start a marriage like that is not easy. So the biggest reason was because of his kids. we wanted to be closer to his kids, to be able to see them more.

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Unknown

we were traveling quite a bit to see them, and it it was good. You know, we would come here for a weekend. go get a hotel somewhere with a pool. And, you know, the kids loved it, but, it just wasn't the same, you know, especially once Covid hit that we just felt like, okay, we really need to be there, and be closer to his kids.

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Unknown

So that was the reasoning behind moving. Yeah.

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Yes. Oh.

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so, I will say being at the campground, I'm a busybody, so I like to constantly be doing, things, so, like, even work. I want to work. and so I moved there and didn't have a job. we only had one vehicle. because now my dad's truck broke down, so, my, my husband had he was driving his car, I believe.

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Unknown

No, I'm sorry, I think I was driving my car behind him. Yeah, well, he was driving the truck, so he had to leave his car back in New York. so, anyways, we only had one vehicle. He had a job. So I was at this campground in the middle of nowhere. No place to go, no job. just stuck.

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Unknown

And this was for three weeks. at that point, I think. So I was just like. I remember walking around this campground, like, lost, like I was anxious, I was depressed, I was crying literally every day. it just I. Yeah. And then I didn't have anybody to talk to. I didn't know anybody down there. At this point during the week, you know, everybody else is working.

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Unknown

So it's not like I could call my mom and talk to her. So I was just like, alone. And this was the first time ever I'm sorry. I'm going to start getting emotional now. but I felt so just alone, you know, I was, depressed. like I said, filled with anxiety and just very, very lonely. yeah.

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So that was my first. That was my experience at this pop up with this pop up camper at this campground. But yeah.

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Unknown

Yeah. So, I at the campground was just not in a good headspace at all. I didn't want to pray. I didn't, read my Bible. wasn't even thinking about that stuff. I was just in this dark place in my mind. and where I first saw Jesus step in. But I didn't realize it at the time.

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Unknown

I didn't think about it until a little later on. this house that we moved into that we're renting right now, somebody else was renting it. We originally supposed to move in here, but it didn't work out. So that's why we bought the property and burner, and we're living at the campground. Well, this house opened up. So after three weeks to a month of living at the campground, we were able to move into this house.

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Unknown

Now, we didn't have any furniture. All that was back in New York. So, so I remember we had, like, camping chairs in our living room. I think we had a, air mattress in our bedroom, you know, stuff like that. So. So we literally, like, have basically nothing in this house. so. Yeah, that so that was like the, the first thing.

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Unknown

But again, at the time, I don't think I really realize it or thought about like, oh yeah, thank you. Jesus. You opened up the this House for us. It was just like, okay, house is open. Let's go. You know? so yeah, that was like the first thing that happened in North Carolina.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yes. So, no, I actually started a job, a Hobby Lobby. So that was another thing at the time that God did for me, that I still didn't realize the journey that he was taking me to, through going there. So, I think a lot of my struggle, was, I was suppressing a lot of things and trying to run away from them.

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Unknown

So even just moved to North Carolina, I can say that, I feel like that was even part of it to like, okay, like, let me let me move here and let, like, you know, that stuff will go away. so anyways, I'm sorry, that's kind of like a sidetrack, but, it kind of leads into, again, just my move to North Carolina and, just trying to run again.

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Unknown

Like, it's like I'm running to all these places, but not to Jesus. And, but again, I thought I had Jesus. I thought that, you know, I was a Christian, that, you know, that was it. So, you know, I'm sorry, I'm just backtracking a little bit, with, with even growing up to I, I, I remember that I was saved and I was like, I was in middle school.

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Unknown

I went to the school program because it's a small town, you know, it's a Christian town for the most part. I was baptized when I was younger because a friend did. So it was it wasn't really my choice. but I was in this place, too, that, like, I had. I was baptized again, when I was still living in, in New York, but it was right before we moved to North Carolina and, just still not in the right place.

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Still not, really understanding my relationship with Christ. because. Right after I was baptized that night, I remember, I found myself in sin again. so this is literally as I, as I'm doing the things we're supposed to do, you know, as a Christian, but still not understanding that I was because my relationship with Christ wasn't there yet.

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Unknown

so that again, the house opened up that we had prayed for. so God started working in the dark that I was literally in this darkness and still not seeing all the things he was doing, for me. So I started this job at Hobby Lobby. not where I expected to be. I have my, master's degree in social work, so I originally was trying to get into the school system, so that was so frustrating because it wasn't working out.

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Unknown

I was like, well, I got to do something, so I went to Hobby Lobby. I loved that job. So I would actually I wish I could stay there. I would, I wish I could have stayed there. not really, because God did a lot of things outside of that job and I'm so happy about. But, but yeah, so I started at Hobby Lobby, then I started a new job.

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Unknown

it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. So I actually, took a leap of faith and I started getting some emails in about a teacher position. I don't have a degree in teaching. I never thought I would ever be a teacher. Well, I ended up, accepting a position as a teacher because you can have an emergency.

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Unknown

Teachers license is what it's called here. As long as you have a master's degree. so, yeah. So God opened up a position at the school for me, which has allowed me to be able to travel home, quite often to be able to see my family. So that was another big thing that he did for me, that I still probably didn't open my eyes to at the time.

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Yeah.

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Yes it is. Yeah.

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Oh yeah.

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Yeah.

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I got.

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Yes.

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No.

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Yeah.

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so, Okay, so I started a new job at the school. Well, Christian, you know, my friend Sakina, you haven't met my friend treasure, but, that was another big thing that God was doing for me, because one thing I that I was struggling with was my loneliness. I didn't know anybody. I had nobody to talk to.

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Unknown

You know where to go. didn't know what to do. So. And side bar. But my husband also isn't like he loves his family, but he's he's more of, like, on his own type of, type of guy. So I'm very much a people person, so it's hard for me. so anyway, so we weren't even seeing his family very much, even though we were in North Carolina.

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Unknown

but yeah. So at this job, I was taking over a classroom. A teacher was leaving, so I was taking over her classroom. Well, Sakina was the teacher's assistant in that classroom, and her and I just, like, connected. I can't even tell you, like, when our friendship really sparked. Because I feel like I've just known her forever.

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Unknown

she's just has a beautiful heart. she loves Jesus. And, that was what I needed. You know, I grew up, I love my friends. I'm still, friends with my friends growing up, but I never really had, true Christian friends. which was part of my issue with trying to walk with Christ because I was being pulled to different directions.

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Unknown

so when I met tequila, which in turn led us, us, her and I to meeting treasure, who was a first grade teacher as well, at, the school we work at. So, now we're like, you know, the Three Musketeers, I guess. Maybe the Three Stooges, I don't know, but, But, but, yeah. So he, really opened that door to me, meeting not just friends, but Christian friends that I now call my sisters in Christ.

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which is really, really, helped me to deepen my relationship with Christ and to understand what it is to even have a relationship with Christ. yeah.

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Who here with?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. And where I was running was right to him anyways. And I didn't know it. I didn't work at the time.

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Unknown

Yeah. And, you know, it's funny, too, because I never in my mind thought that I was running from God, you know, like, before then I was doing, some Facebook lives of me reading the Bible, and stuff like that, like, so I was reading and everything, but I think truly, what it is, was not understanding what it is to have a relationship with Christ.

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Unknown

Anybody can pick up a book and read, you know, anybody can it can even pray, you know, in a sense. So but I really wasn't doing I really didn't understand what it was to have a relationship with Christ or even how to have a relationship with Christ, because all in that time, like I said, I was still living in sin as I was calling myself a Christian and feeling like I couldn't get myself out of it.

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Yeah.

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And.

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Yeah. Yes.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Yes. Yeah. That's good.

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Yes. And I think that's one of the biggest struggles, too, is when you are struggling with sin and you're struggling with something and you don't know how to stop. Like, literally, you don't know how to stop doing it, but. And then you run from God because you're like, well, like how we grew up, you know? And I'm sure maybe you had this issue too, but it's like, oh, well, if I'm doing this, I can't, I can't have a relationship with Christ.

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Unknown

He can't love me if I'm doing this. But I think the true, I can't I'm lacking the work right now, but I you just got to be you because he loves you. How? You are right in your mess. And, I think we have such a hard time realizing, like, he's such a loving god and we don't deserve it at all in the filth that that we live in.

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Unknown

but it's like he loves us so much where we are that he's willing to take you just as you are in that moment, in that mess, no matter what it is. And he loves you right there, and he wants you to start that relationship with you right there. If you would just be yourself and give him a chance instead of, you know, trying to, use religion because that's what we do, you know?

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Unknown

Yeah. Like, yeah. Because it's not going to get you anywhere. Just going to church. You need to have that relationship and it's, it's hard to figure that out sometime.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Yes. So before I moved, I remember praying and asking God for a job. Or when I moved. I can even say, asking for a house, a job, friends. And I needed a church. And I was so used to the church that I was at that I thought, like, I am never going to be able to find a church that I love as much as I do in reverse.

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Unknown

that's all I knew. You know that that's the only place I knew. so we started going to my husband's church that he went to growing up. nothing wrong with the church. It's just, old school, you know? Not really anything that I was used to. I'm kind of in, like, a Bible belt area, so, you know, you got those old school pastors, which are cool.

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Unknown

Is not what I was used to. so I struggled a little bit, going there. And I was trying to look up different places, trying to find Assemblies of God. because that's what Erie first is. And, I kept seeing PowerPoint church come up and I would look at it and, you know, it's hard to, to really see how a church is over the computer screen, you know, or watching a video because it's never the same.

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Unknown

So I was like, I don't know, but I just kept seeing it just kept popping up. So, the one morning I just decided, you know what? Like, let's just go. Let's just try it out. So that morning, I remember we were running late, already right off the bat. And then we finally get on the road, and I put the address on my GPS.

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Unknown

It took us a whole different direction. And I remember that morning to having thoughts of, you don't want to go to that church. It's a bad church. You like. Yeah. And why would I think that? I'd never been there before, you know. So, I remember having those thoughts. Like I said, we're running late. It takes us a completely different direction.

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Unknown

So I was like, there is no way I'm walking into this church like this new church, you know, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever it was at that point, I don't I don't want to walk in there late. I'm, you know, look stupid walking in and, yeah. Being that late. So anyways, I, you know, decided to just go, again, one of those things that it's like, I'm not that person.

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Unknown

Like, I didn't have to go. Nobody there would have missed me, you know? They wouldn't have known that I was going to go there. So, anyways, we ended up going and that day, I received the gift of time. And this is, this is another part of my story because like I said, I love your first. I've heard people speak in tongues.

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Unknown

They're, my grandma, you know, when she would speak in tongues, I didn't understand. It kind of scared me a little. But. But, they didn't talk about. I never once in the 20 plus years that I was there, I never once had anybody asked me if I wanted to receive tongues. and I, like I said, I know that it they practice that gift there because people, people speak in tongues out loud and everything.

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Unknown

But I just personally wasn't asked. But I also never asked for it either, you know. So. But I didn't understand it. so anyways, first day I'm there and he gave me the gift of tongues. And I remember in that moment, when it was happening, I was, I was speaking a little bit and then, as I was walking back to my seat, instantly the thoughts started coming in like the devil saying, like, it wasn't real.

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Unknown

Like you didn't really do that. That was great. well, that was the first time ever that I remember rebuking the devil. And, so I said, I rebuke you. It was real. And, as soon as I sat down in my seat, just tongue started pouring. It just started pouring out, and oh, I could not stop crying.

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Unknown

And that was like, that was my first experience, that this church, that God, you know, gave me that gift that, I wasn't even looking for it. I didn't go up there asking for tongues when I went up there to receive prayer, because I was going through such bad depression and anxiety. the pastor, Pastor Cole falls his name, one of the pastors there, and he asked me if I wanted to receive the gift of tongues, and I.

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Unknown

What am I going to say? No. I was like, I'm already up here. Like, I could I could say no. Yeah, I could say no. But I felt in that moment, being me, I was just like, well, I'm not going to tell the man no. So.

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Unknown

Yeah, so but I was scared. I didn't know, like like I think that I back myself away from tongues for so long because I was afraid that, I was going to accidentally fake it is what I was afraid of that I like. I was going to, like, accidentally. I didn't want to offend the Holy Spirit. I was afraid to do something wrong.

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Unknown

so that's why I think I kind of pushed myself away from it. Plus, like I said, nobody ever really talked about it, so I didn't really understand it. But then in that moment, like, it was just it was so awesome. I asked God, like, please don't ever let me forget this moment, because it was just awesome.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah.

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Oh. Yeah.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Right.

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Yes.

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Yes. Yeah. So, I needed to take the step of faith because I was stopping myself for so long. but again, not even more. I was stopping myself because I didn't understand. I didn't know how. I didn't, I didn't how do you even received the gift of tongues? Like I had no clue. but in that moment when he asked me again, yes, I was telling myself, like, okay, well, what am I going to do?

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Unknown

Like, what am I going to say to him or whatever? But it was my step of faith, though, because even though I didn't know how, I didn't know what was going to happen. What was this going to be like? What was I going to say? You know, all these thoughts are going through my head. And I remember just saying, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

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Unknown

that's all I could say. I didn't know, I didn't know what else to do, you know? So I just, kept saying, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. And it just started, pouring out. And I just, I remember, like I said, like it just being a moment that it was like, please, Lord, don't ever let me forget about this.

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Unknown

Like, it was just amazing. even now, I wish I could just get that, like, not that you can't. You can't get those, feeling, but it's not all about feelings, but, so I just wish I could go back into that moment again and just experience that first time. me. And that was it was definitely like, a staple in my relationship with Christ.

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Unknown

because I've never felt anything like that before. And then not too long after, a couple weeks later, I was slain in the spirit for the first time. And that was another thing. I had never seen that before in my church. I went to my friend's church and I saw it for the first time, but it was something that I questioned because I remember when, when this lady was slain in the spirit, she, when she fell to the ground, she sat up for a second and, like, fix her skirt and then lay back down.

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Unknown

So I was like, you know, it made me question that. I didn't understand it. not something I'd ever like, you know, read about really before or, or anything. So I just I did not understand it at all. Then when I saw that happen, I'm like, you know, are people faking this thing? Like, what's going on? so that was an experience that, again, I didn't ask for it.

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Unknown

I went up to receive prayer and, it just happened. And I can say in that moment I felt like I was like, as light as a feather. And there's three people behind me that, we're standing behind in case anybody falls out. And I did not even feel their hands on my back. Like, it was just like I felt like I just floated down to the ground and just had,

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Yeah. It was just a really cool moment with Christ. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Unknown

It did. I can't remember the moment that it really clicked to me. Like man. Like God just did all this stuff for me. But it it did eventually hit me like, wow. God. Like, as my relationship grew, I feel like God is so I. I hear people say he's like he's a gentleman. And he is like, he's not going to like some things in your face and stuff.

::

Unknown

And so like, he'll so just like gently and kindly, just like bring thoughts back in here, like into your mind of like, oh, remember this. And so I think I it just even moments like that where it's just like, wow God like you really I was in such a dark place then and you just he gradually he did yank me out, but it felt like it was like a gradual like, okay, he's.

::

Unknown

And then it almost like it wasn't a huge change. It was like a gradual kind of thing, like, okay, I got the house. Okay, got the job. Okay. God, you know what I mean? And, Yeah, and like I said, I think that first year, even even when all this stuff was happening, all these awesome things that God was doing, I was still struggling so bad that being away from home.

::

Unknown

So I was still kind of facing some, depression and anxiety and stuff. and so even that he's still working with me, even though he showed me all these things, there's some really awesome things happening. some lifechanging things happening. I was still struggling with, that depression and anxiety of being away from home. And he's, you know, still loves me.

::

Unknown

So still working, still working with me and everything. So.

::

Unknown

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Right.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Right. Yeah.

::

Unknown

I was really starting to understand having that actual relationship with Christ. I will say that, again at my church, Power Point church. I'm still going there now to this day. So, it's really been, again, another staple in my life. but I remember I was at church. I wasn't even thinking about home. I wasn't thinking about my family at the time.

::

Unknown

I was just really having an awesome time at church. probably the first time in a while that I was feeling like I wasn't like, again, I wasn't thinking about home. I wasn't feeling that sadness. I had joy, and I remember, I don't know if I went up to receive prayer if I want. I think I just went up to the altar to praise.

::

Unknown

And as I was walking back clear as day, this is the first time I heard God's voice. like, really felt like I heard him speak to me clearly. and I remember him saying I needed you to move so you could get closer to me and, Oh, just like thinking about that now, just makes me so emotional.

::

Unknown

I just broke down, started crying.

::

Unknown

my, Yeah. So he's I that was the first time I heard him speak to me. Clearly. Clear as day. Just like a sentence, you know? Like. But I was finally getting, you know, the cotton I had put in my ears for so long out of my ears where I didn't realize that the things were blocking me from, really hearing his voice.

::

Unknown

Because he wants us. He wants to talk to us. He wants to conversate with us. and I needed to hear that. And it was in that moment, too, that, like, I know it was God clear as day because again, it he waited for a moment where I wasn't even thinking about my family to tell me that, you know, and I was just like, well.

::

Unknown

And it really clicked to me then, like, I'm now understanding this move to North Carolina, even when it's hard. I understand that he had a purpose behind it, that he nothing wrong with my family. My family's awesome. But he needed to separate me because I was clinging on to my family and not clinging on to him. yeah.

::

Unknown

So that was like an eye opener for me. and really, again, a staple in my relationship with Christ. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

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Unknown

Yes.

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Unknown

Right.

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Unknown

Yes. And.

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Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yep. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah. But he loves us so much, though, too, that he. He makes a way for things. Because even now with my family, like, how did it how was I able to get a teaching position, you know, like, that's not even when I was looking for work, but I feel like he knew, like, okay, I'm pulling you from your family, but here's a job where you can go see your family.

::

Unknown

Like I get to go home. I, you know, wish I could go home more often, so. But but I could go home every couple months, usually to see my family. the longest I've been is four months. which can be tough, but I. I mean, my aunt, when she lived in Florida, Florida, away from our family, she only got to come home once, maybe twice a year.

::

Unknown

So I know that I'm so blessed. And, what he's given me in a job to be able to, see my family way more than somebody typically would be able to. Yeah.

::

Unknown

I really like there's still so much to my story that this is just the beginning. but there's so much, so much more that has happened. that he just, like, again, just kind of gradually just, was showing himself to me and, like, just, I was gradually understanding, having that relationship with him. And, you know, just when you think that you got it, there's always more.

::

Unknown

He always has more for you. and yeah, that's been something that's been really cool too. Like I would have been fine with. Okay. You know, I just received times like I was playing in the spirit, like awesome Lord. But he had more. He he had so much more to do for me. And still does that I don't even know of yet.

::

Unknown

yeah. So I still have, quite a bit of, of that side of my story of being in North Carolina. so I yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

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Unknown

You know.

::

Unknown

Yeah. So sometimes your walk is, a door to others. And their walk. So when this moved to North Carolina, the step of faith. also, I feel like I started to stir some things up in my dad and my husband, and friends, you know, that, I started just seeing God working in other areas of my life, like my family, you know, because they are my life.

::

Unknown

I love them so much. So, one thing that had happened was this was, February of 20, 23. my dad came to visit, and he had brought his, friend with him. he's also a coworker. so he brought him to North Carolina as well. And they stayed for the weekend, and I was able to introduce.

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Unknown

His name's Corey. So my dad's name is Mike. My, his friend or our family friend. His name is Corey. So I was able to introduce Corey to zucchini. And I just remember some really awesome, couple nights that we had of just fellowship and just talking about Jesus and praising together. which is really cool because, again, I didn't have friends that, I was able to do that with.

::

Unknown

So, being able to experience that, my dad ended up coming in and visiting my church and, I remember because one of one of my problems that I still struggle with sometimes is, obeying and listening when God tells me to do something out of fear. because I'm afraid of, you know, I'm going to mess up or like, oh, well, what if what if this what if that, you know.

::

Unknown

So, I remember God telling me to tell my dad that he's good enough, that that was it. He's good enough. And, I'm sitting there like, oh, like, you know, my dad was six four, big man, like that manly man. And, I don't like. Yeah. So anyways, I ended up just doing it. I went up to my dad and I said, dad, God told me to tell you that you are good enough.

::

Unknown

And I remember my dad just kind of nodded. Well, instantly I just went up to the altar. I started praying, and praising God, and I felt my dad come up behind me and put his hand on my back, and he knelt down next to me, and they took a, blanket, and they put it over me and my dad and, that was a big moment for me, but I didn't realize how big of a moment that was for my dad.

::

Unknown

And, my dad started praying over me, and, my dad's prayed and stuff before, like. But it was just different. Like, there was just something like. It was just awesome. and then as he's praying for me, I start praying for my dad, and I remember I don't even know what chemo the Holy Spirit came over me, but I just started, yelling like, top of my lungs.

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Unknown

Jesus was like, just, you know, screaming Jesus. That's the only thing. Like, he was just, I don't know, it was just, crazy moment. But anyways, that again, that step of faith in me doing that because I'm not one. I have a hard time even, you know, raising my hands sometimes during prays. So for me to yell out like that at, you know, still a new ish kind of church, was like a big, a big deal for me.

::

Unknown

Well, that kind of just, like, stirred up something in the Holy Spirit that that was a different church service than I've ever been to. at that church before. Like, he was, the pastor sort of prophesying over people and, praying over people and rerunning the church and everything. It was just like, it was awesome. But sometimes I think that or I know we can be the breakthrough to something and we're holding back.

::

Unknown

So, not saying that I did anything, but sometimes it's just that step of faith that, you don't know you holding when you're holding back what it could be holding back for somebody else. in my husband also received a word that day, and he is not one. Growing up, he was he grew up in a very religious setting, so he was, like forced to go to the front, forced to be in the choir, forced to be baptized, forced to do all these things.

::

Unknown

So he actually told his grandpa, who raised him that, he wasn't ever going to church again. So he started going to church again with me. but anyways, he was still very fearful of like, being forced to do something and stuff like that. Well, I didn't know, but the day before my dad, Corey, and my husband had a conversation and my husband, told my dad, like, well, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just don't have emotion.

::

Unknown

I don't feel anything. I don't feel, I don't get, I don't cry nothing. Well, what do you know? He received the word that next day in church and he cried. So it was like right there, you know, that was something, and even in that moment, the things that the, the words that God gave the pastor to say to my husband, were things that I was praying about that I didn't really tell anybody.

::

Unknown

Like, you know, the pastor still, didn't know me, know me at that point. So it was just really, really awesome to hear those things that I was praying and then it being spoken over my husband. so, yeah, the Holy Spirit went off that day for sure. that certain stuff.

::

Unknown

Oh, yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes. I do believe that. Yes. No. I believe that the Lord always makes a way. He's always going to work things out. but I do believe that sometimes you can hold things back from happening from. From not doing what? You know, that he's asking you to do, you know, Yeah. And you know what? What's the worst that's going to happen?

::

Unknown

I try to think about it that way, too. You know, when the Lord tells you to do something and you don't do it, you don't know what could have happened. You have no clue. So do it. Listen, you know what's the worst that's going to happen? And you were wrong. The person didn't like what you said. You. Yeah.

::

Unknown

You're always planting seeds. And sometimes that is God's plan. Sometimes the person, if you. He tells you to speak to someone, to pray for someone they might not like what you have to say. They might say something terrible to you. You don't know, but you're still planting a seed. So there is still purpose and you doing that, and there's still something that he has, plans through that.

::

Unknown

So.

::

Unknown

Yes. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Right. Which kind of leads into to with. with that, like, of being open to what God can do. Because, again, for me, I didn't understand, a lot of things, like tongues and, being slain in the spirit and all that stuff. But another door, he opened for me was, prophecy and, deliverance that I didn't understand either of those things either.

::

Unknown

with prophecy. God is just so cool. He really is like the how he worked was just awesome. That, like, little by little, even thinking about it now, it's just like he showed me this and it's like, okay, so the next thing that was showing me this, so my friend to took me to a church they she goes to every once in a while, but it's like an hour and a half away.

::

Unknown

his name's Pastor Bacon. I think it's freedom Life Church. but anyways, that he didn't know me. actually, he doesn't see tequila that often. I think he forgot to tell me his name, but we went there, so. So we didn't, you know, we didn't know each other, but, sorry. Before going there sometimes, you know, it's it's hard having the blended families because, you know, my husband has, three kids, and, there's a mom to one of them, and then, another mom to to two other ones.

::

Unknown

And it could be hard with a blended family and, Yeah. So not to go too much into that, but there was like an incident that happened around Easter time when we were supposed to take, all the kids to North or sorry, to New York to visit for Easter, to visit my family. my stepson. His appendix ruptured so he wasn't able to go, but his sister was going to go with us.

::

Unknown

he was okay out of the hospital, but he's still recovering, so he couldn't come with us. but, yeah, like, at that point, he had been done with the surgeries and everything. Well, we never got a, for sure answer for his sister to come or not. So we got on the road, started going well. We ended up getting a phone call that she wanted to come, and that was like an hour down the road.

::

Unknown

So I'm like, oh, what do we do anyways? That led into, a not very nice conversation. you know, that, not so much on my end. It it was more so on the other one of what I was receiving from that person. But, anyways, it was a, a breaking point for me because it's hard being a step mom.

::

Unknown

It's it's hard. it's not easy. You have to sit back and listen to some things that you don't want to listen to, you know, and, deal with some things you don't want to deal with. shut your mouth when you want to say something. but I can also say, in the perspective of the mom, it's also hard to be a mom and have another woman step in to be a step parent.

::

Unknown

You know, because their mom, you know, yeah. I would never take that away from them, so. So I can understand, you know, both ends. But anyways, I remember that was a break breaking point for me. I lost it my I had two of my step kids in the back, so I know they probably thought I was crazy that moment, but, I literally had like a break down at the pool, over the car and the side of the road, and I got out of the car and I literally screamed at the top of my lungs, I can't do this anymore.

::

Unknown

I can't do this anymore. sorry. Then this leads in to now going to this church with, taking you to see Pastor Bacon. so again, he doesn't know me. I'm coming into this place not really knowing what to expect, and, instantly, I think I was the first person that he, has spoken to, and, he said there was a lot of things that he said.

::

Unknown

Which leads into my meeting with you guys. when we up, like at the Daniel Adams conference. So that kind of leads into that. But, one of the big things that Pastor Bacon said was, God said that he's going to show you that he is real. He heard you when when you said you couldn't do it anymore.

::

Unknown

I did it even in that moment when he was speaking to me. I didn't even hear that. I was just like, in the in the moment, like I speaking, I was speaking in tongues, you know, stuff like. So I didn't even hear everything. On our way back home, I asked, he said, you mind if I. Because they recorded it live.

::

Unknown

I said, you mind if I listen to that again and really hear what he had said to me? And she said, yeah, of course. So we're listening to it. And when he said that, I just broke because I was like, that was literal words that I said, he didn't just say like, God heard you when you were, you know, crying or when you were upset, like, no, God's going to show you that he is real.

::

Unknown

He showed me right in that moment when he repeated back the words that I yelled to him on the side of the road that I can't do this anymore. yeah. So that was like a big. So there's, you know, that I receiving a word peace that I've never had anybody come up to me and tell me, like, oh, God wanted me to tell you this.

::

Unknown

so, yeah, that's the third thing that that God had showed me to do. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Oh, yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

I.

::

Unknown

Yeah. Don't.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Oh, yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

the beginning of September of:

::

Unknown

that, that loneliness a little bit, in some senses, because this is new for me, honestly, like with having Christian friends and stuff like, I was so used to my friends growing up. so anyways, I felt like I was losing friends at that point in my life too. Well, in his word, he had given me, there's some things I wrote down that he had said.

::

Unknown

I love going back and listening to that message. I'm so thankful that it was recorded and I was able to hear it because still going back and listening to these things, it still just hits me just as hard. I feel like, as the first time I listen to it. so he was saying things like, he saw me as a midwife, that I would be birthing things in the spirit, which I'm still, you know, trying to understand some of these things, and intercessory.

::

Unknown

He had said he said I had a mother anointing, and even him saying those things because I'm not, a real mom, you know, like, I didn't give birth to my own children. I love my my bonus kids is really what I like to call them. I love them so much and I feel like a mom, so sometimes I feel like that's almost taken away from me a little bit because I'm not really their mom, if that makes sense.

::

Unknown

so for him to even say that, that I have a mother anointing, I really felt that. That it's just like I was like, born to be a mom, you know? So, and I just I love them so much. But, anyways, he was saying that, they saw, like, like, like a baby in the birth canal, like, like something's about to give birth.

::

Unknown

Like, not enough. Not not physically. A baby in the birth canal. But just like something's about to give birth into my life. he said I didn't lose anything. That God took things, and that that, enemy wants me to think that, things are being subtracted from my life. But he said through that subtraction, God is adding and he is multiplying.

::

Unknown

Which leads into, again, when I met you guys at, the Daniel Adams conference, so. Yeah. So, sorry, I'm trying to gather everything. So. Yeah. So the pastor bacon thing happened. Well, this was like, two weeks before we went to the Daniel Adams conference. and like you were saying at the beginning, that was a whole lot.

::

Unknown

That was a whole ordeal, with the Daniel Adams properties.

::

Unknown

so, yeah, with Daniel Adams, we had planned for a few months to go to this conference, which was supposed to be me, to Tina and our other friend. Our other friend ended up not being able to go, so. And ended up being mean to Tina. So I, got, a rental house on Booking.com and long story short, we got there late at night.

::

Unknown

I think it was like:

::

Unknown

So I literally walked into this house. I look up and I see a kitchen there, and I'm like, well, this doesn't make sense. We heard a couple dogs barking and we ran out of there and jumped back into the car. so that was another God moment, that honestly, being in the middle of a bad area in Baltimore, walking into somebodys house like, I wouldn't even blame someone for defending themselves, you know, not knowing who I was, why I was in their house.

::

Unknown

So thank God that I don't know if nobody was there, if they were upstairs, I'm not sure. But, yeah. So my two, there was a woman sitting on the stairs next door. She knew a very well we were not going to the right place. But anyway. So we got in the car, I found the they had two separate addresses posted, so I found the other one.

::

Unknown

We go up to it and we see the keypad. So anyways, we go in again I will drag this out too much, but, there were roaches in the house. There was just weird stuff we were finding a window, looking down into the shower where the person in the other building could look in like, weird. Like stuff with stuff stained on the bed.

::

Unknown

Like, just. It was gross. It was not good. So we ended up, this is probably like 3:00 in the morning, 4:00 in the morning. We had nowhere to go, so we didn't know what to do. So we were like, you know what? Like we prayed for a while, like, let's just make the best of it. So we tried to get some sleep.

::

Unknown

I ended up waking up like, pretty early 7:00 in the morning or so, and I walked downstairs and there's another roach that I saw. so that was two. That was the that was second strike. We don't we don't do the three strikes. You're out. That was like although there was a few more strikes along the way with all the other stuff that was going on.

::

Unknown

But anyways, we ended up leaving that place and, didn't even have like, anywhere else planned out to stay. So this was 7:00 in the morning. We get all of our stuff and we we get out. so we stopped at like three different hotels before we found one that had a room available. And, at this point, that was the day of the conference.

::

Unknown

We wanted to I think we wanted to be there by three, if I remember correctly. And I think it started at five. Do you remember? so anyways, we needed early checking because. Yeah, that's what it was. His check in wasn't until three. Well, we thought like, we need to get there early to make sure, you know, we, we, I know we, we just wanted to be there early.

::

Unknown

So anyways, I talked to the man at the front, and, I asked him if we could get early check in, and he's like, oh, I don't know. Anyways, I said, well, here's my number. Can you just give me a call if somebody happens to check out and we're able to check in probably half hour later, he calls me and says, there's a room available you can do to early check in for like, oh, awesome.

::

Unknown

So we're at a restaurant getting breakfast. So right after breakfast, I think we stopped one other place and we went back to the hotel. It's a different man, and that man was giving us a hard time about the early check in. So at this point it was, it was getting close to the time that we were supposed to leave.

::

Unknown

We still leave the shower. I mean, we didn't do anything at that house. We didn't want to shower there, didn't want to brush our teeth. Nothing. So we needed we needed to get to a, you know, be able to shower and everything. Anyways, that guy ended up letting us, you know, get the key to the room. Then the key didn't work.

::

Unknown

So twice the key didn't work. The maintenance man ended up helping us. so we got into the room. We started getting ready. He fixed the key for us. So thank God for that man. And then, we ended up getting out on time. So we get to we get to the

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes. Yes.

::

Unknown

here, like I said, until like:

::

Unknown

So it was, it was quite the, the journey. So I remember us both sitting there at breakfast and I know we were both thinking like, we should just get in the car and go home like, this is crazy. So, but thankfully we didn't, you know, like I said, we got ready and we made it there at the time that, we had wanted to get there.

::

Unknown

So. And that's when we saw you guys in the parking lot. and we were surprised, too, because we figured people would want to get there early. and. Yeah. So just to see, you know, I think it was just your car in the parking lot, maybe a couple others, I don't know, but, I know there weren't very many.

::

Unknown

Yeah, we definitely were the first ones in line. So, anyways, we, you know, connected with you guys right off the bat and, it was just fun, like, just waiting. We had to wait for two hours before we could get in. So I just conversating with you guys and, worshiping and, listening to Rachel's thing, like, she sings and, you know, and then Kristen, you know, you right off the bat, you had that word for tequila.

::

Unknown

And then you would ask me, are you a writer? And I was thinking like, no, I think I told you that like, no, not really. I'm not. I'm not a writer. And then, I don't know, you said something else about it, like something about me writing. And, then I had remembered a poem that I wrote that I didn't tell anybody about.

::

Unknown

Never read it to anybody. It was like it had to be at least a year, if not two years, prior to you asking that that I wrote this poem and, I forgot about it, but I found it a couple weeks before going to this conference. Randomly, I was going through the notes in my phone. so, and I again, I read through it and everything, but, I almost posted it on Facebook that time at that point too.

::

Unknown

And then I was like, no, I'm not going to do that. It's not good. Like, you know, again, these thoughts just in my head. So then when you asked me that, God reminded me of that poem that I wrote and, I ended up, I think you asked me if you could read it, and I'm thinking, like, man, like what?

::

Unknown

I can't tell. no, I mean, I could, but I. Oh, you read it, and, you said it was good, and then Rachel and all that. Duska and, I just again, just the these thoughts that I had had, like, even with you guys saying that instantly I was thinking like, oh, they're just saying that, like, when are you going to tell me like, oh, it's terrible, you know?

::

Unknown

So, anyway, so that did happen, which was a big step for me because I'm not one that like shares stuff like that. You know, that was a personal poem that I wrote. not really planning to do anything with I, I almost posted it to share, but I was like, no, I'm not going to do that. so anyways, then before the conference even started, you guys prayed over me.

::

Unknown

and even that was such a big moment for me, too, because, like, I was just thinking like, Lord, like, these people don't even know me, and they're praying for me like, they, you know, I don't know, like, so even that was just a big thing. So I'm already crying before this thing even started. I have a zero expectations really, on,

::

Unknown

Oh, I'm sorry about that. All right, I'm back. But yeah, I didn't really have, expectations on, you know, what was going to happen. I knew that it was for deliverance, but, and I had watched a couple of Daniel Adam's videos and stuff like that, but I really didn't know too much about it. so, anyways, I'm at this thing, and I'm thinking I'll get delivered and everything, but still even kind of questioning it in my mind, like, because sadly, there are people it's I'm sorry.

::

Unknown

It's there we go. There are people out there who, do fake things sometimes, you know, that aren't real. so sometimes you it's hard, you know, as a Christian, I'm questioning these things, you know, so, being a person on the outside that that doesn't believe at all, like, that stuff can be really confusing and hard to believe sometimes.

::

Unknown

So, anyways, then it happened to Rachel. so seeing that and I did just meet Rachel that day, but still just, I think was it that day? Yeah, it was that day that that had happened is the next day for me. But but just witnessing that and it's like, wow, you know, then we go back to the hotel, you know, to Kenan and Ari, just, like, processing everything.

::

Unknown

We're still exhausted because, you know, we're still running off like a few hours of sleep. And then the next day, we were supposed to leave, early ish because we had to drive all the way back, home. We had to work the next day. So at the six hour drive. But anyways, that, that morning, you guys had asked us to go out to breakfast.

::

Unknown

So, we met you all at breakfast, and, you know, God had other plans.

::

Unknown

Yes, yes. So across the street was a safe way. I've never even heard of that store before. So, Yeah. Kristen, that's the one awesome thing about Kristen, too, is he, pulls me out of my comfort zone. because even with, tequila, even her being my friend. And at this point, it's been over a year that we had been friends.

::

Unknown

but still, I had a hard time, feeling comfortable. Just like praying for people like, I again, I, I deal with a lot of fear. That's been something that I've dealt with, you know, still still deal with sometimes. So. No, but out of fear of, like, saying something wrong or, something like that. So anyways, Kristen said, I think I don't know if to ask for prayer.

::

Unknown

You said you were going to pray for her. I think you said you were going. If we were going to pray over her, I Kristen said, Amy, what? You're going to pray for her? But I'm like, okay.

::

Unknown

Yes. So yeah, I started praying for tequila in the Safeway parking lot, and that was a really awesome moment for our friendship. and like our, my friendship with her and just growing closer to you guys the day after we met you, like, this has been like, one day, not even a full 24 hours that we've met. You guys.

::

Unknown

And, already, God is just, like, working on our friendship right there. And just, just bringing us closer. yeah. So after praying for tequila, I was feeling like, man, like, I feel like I need prayer, but I didn't want to say it. I was like, how can I say like, after, you know, that was like, tequila moment.

::

Unknown

How can I say like, okay, guys, I need prayer now. And in that moment, you know, barely. The thought was in my head. And then Jessica had said, I think we need to pray for Amy. yes, yes, yes. Yeah. So then, Jessica started praying for me and, all of us, all of us together. And I just started, renouncing things.

::

Unknown

I think just in that moment was telling me to. And I didn't even know really what that entailed, what that meant. and I just started renouncing things, or denouncing things, and, Yeah. And in that moment, it was. I thought that was my deliverance. but it actually was the beginning of my deliverance, which carried on to the Daniel Adams or the Daniel Adams Conference, which is a whole lot a whole other thing.

::

Unknown

yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So, deliverance. That was the new door that. Now, the Lord was opening for me that, Again, I didn't really know much about. And I think sometimes when we, when we see things like, I grew up watching, like paranormal shows and stuff like that, or I was big into, like, the ghost show or ghost movies and stuff.

::

Unknown

And when you think of somebody being possessed or oh, well, not I didn't even really understand oppression at the time. But like you see in the movies, like, you know, a person walking backwards or crawling up a wall and stuff like that, but the enemy is so sneaky and making you feel like what you're dealing with is just normal.

::

Unknown

That's just your life, you know? So when I was dealing with the things I was dealing with, I thought it was just like, well, that's that's my life. I, you know, been going through these things. I actually thought at one point, well, I must not need deliverance. Nothing happened to me that first day. so I just thought that I like I well, I didn't need it.

::

Unknown

but he's just so sneaky and wants you to hold on to things, too. that you think again, that you. It's just a part of your life or you, you you have to live with it. That's what you went through. so anyways, I was wrong. And so my deliverance started, with you guys in the Safeway parking lot, and I thought that was the end of it, but, you know, the Lord had more.

::

Unknown

So, we're getting to the end of this conference where Tarquini and I, at this point, like, we need to go like, this is a six hour drive home. We have to work in the morning. Well we did it. We didn't go right away and I think we ended up being there until nine or something like that. At 930.

::

Unknown

Thank God that we did. so in that moment, I won't get into like all the details of everything, but, it started that again. Nothing had happened the whole time that we were there. So again, I'm thinking like, okay, well, maybe that was the end of it, like the Safeway parking lot, you know? but I went up, when when Daniel Adamson invited people to come up, and, I was I was slain in the spirit in that moment.

::

Unknown

so that was the second time that happened to me. And then, we saw you guys across the way. You were praying over Lee at the time, and we went over to you guys, and God told me to put my hands on to his head. Well, I've never done anything like that before, so, you know, I just did it.

::

Unknown

I don't even think I thought twice about it. I just did it. And, when I did, tequila ended up falling out. And, she had just been praying over a woman. She was a she was feeling like a heaviness, almost. I I'm not I'm not totally sure everything she was feeling, but I remember her saying that that she was almost, like, tired out, like, exhausted, kind of.

::

Unknown

So anyway, she ended up falling down. That instantly put me into a praise because I'm like, Lord, like you just did that through me. Like, what in the world? So. So I just start praising in that praise. The enemy couldn't stay anymore. So what didn't leave had to go isn't because, yeah, I don't know. He just couldn't stay there anymore.

::

Unknown

So I started or it, you know, started screaming. And the best way to explain is you feel like you're like taking a backseat in your body, where it's like you hear everything going on. You, you know, kind of what's happening, but it's like you're not in control, all the way. So, but the biggest thing that stuck out to me with that was, the man that came over that, helped me through this deliverance.

::

Unknown

I remember him saying that she loved Jesus, and it said, yes. And I remember that. I remember hearing that. And it just it was an eye opener that it's like. Because sometimes people think that you people do think that you can't be oppressed by something when you're a Christian. And it's not true, because why wouldn't you say that?

::

Unknown

She loved Jesus? And I said, yes, you know, like, yes, she does love Jesus. So it's like he's like, well, you can't stay there. So I was a Christian. I was pursuing this relationship with Christ. God was opening doors for me, showing me things he had never shown me before. So I, I am a Christian. I, you know, I am saved and and I was still being oppressed by something that I think was from back when I was younger that I was, I was keeping in and I had never fully, really forgiven, you know, other people for, or even myself for that.

::

Unknown

I was holding on to that, was finally able to be set free. yeah. So that was super cool. And that, that weekend really. meeting you guys. That was what Pastor bacon? what the word was that Pastor bacon and give me where he said that you feel like. Or the enemy wants you to think that you're losing things, but God's actually adding and multiplying in that moment of feeling like I was losing friends.

::

Unknown

I had just gained three friends right there. and truly, I just I knew that, like, I know, like you had said, that there's a chance that you would never see us again, but I just, like there was just something special about our friendship already that I just knew. Like, I am going to see these people again. Like, we are going to continue talking to each other and, yeah, sharing our love for Christ.

::

Unknown

So yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah, I.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah. I agree.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yes.

::

Unknown

Yeah. And what better way to stop you from doing God's will, you know, and to oppress you? So. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Right.

::

Unknown

Right.

::

Unknown

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah. So I was like, why in the world like. No, really. I was like, really mean. You are like, you did that through me. And that's what just put me in the praise that it's like there is no way somebody like me. You like. Yeah. So it was. Yeah. But that whole weekend just, really again, was another staple, in my walk with Christ and understanding him more and all that he can do.

::

Unknown

and it all really went back to connect with what Pastor Bacon had said to me, a few weeks before. I remember, well, when you were telling me about writing, it, I read that was the only poem I had written and never told anybody about it. So it wasn't something that I thought like, oh, yeah, I'm a writer.

::

Unknown

I just I wrote something, you know? but, God had other plans with that, with that word that you would give it. and when I got back, we didn't get back until like, 430 in the morning. It was. And we had to be at work by seven, I think. so I didn't get much sleep. I think I got like an hour of sleep.

::

Unknown

By the time I actually laid down. But I remember I woke up and it was just kind of like, dwelling on that, like. So I asked God. I said, Lord, if there's, if you want me to write, if there's, you know, something you want me to write, like what would what would I call it? What would the name of it be?

::

Unknown

And instantly, again, this is another moment where I just felt like I just heard him clearly. He said limitless. Now I'm like, all right, limitless. Okay. Like, you know, without limit. That makes sense. So, you know, I go to school and I'm working and I forgot the name of it, and I tend to do that. I, you know, forget things.

::

Unknown

And, so anyways, like, I asked God, I'm like, Lord, I forgot, I forgot what it was. And you tell me again, instantly limitless. And I'm just like, man. Like I was just hearing God so clearly more than I ever have before. just hearing things in the spirit. Like even different things with the kids. Like when you hear, kids crying and stuff and crying out, like, you just.

::

Unknown

I just heard it differently. just like how just dirty Satan is, you know, and even messing with our kids. so it's just like a new experience for me, a new place that God put me in that I've never experienced before. And when I got home, just, had messaged me and, he sent me a picture, and it was, I didn't know at the time, but he had explained it to me.

::

Unknown

But it was a daffodil, and it was inside of a womb. I did not tell you guys what Pastor Bacon said, or what his wife had said when they told me that, they saw womb, and actually something that I didn't say, Pastor Bacon's wife had told me that, she sees the contractions and like, you know, the the birth canal and everything, and things are, she said new rebirth and new beginnings.

::

Unknown

And she said, today is May 7th, but tomorrow is May 8th. which is like a symbol of new beginnings. so then anyways, back to Jess. She sent me this picture and it was a daffodil. And I wrote down, on the side she had wrote revival, rebirth, new Beginnings, and Hope. She had no idea what Pastor Bacon's wife had said.

::

Unknown

And, this is just a couple weeks before that. He had given me that word, so. And she said, she said that God has put me in a new season that I've never fully encountered before now that I'm ready. And that just, like, blew my mind, and blew my mind so much that right after she had sent that, I started writing the limitless poem and within 20 minutes, this poem was written and it just, like, just flowed.

::

Unknown

You know, this flowed right out and, was just like, easy. You know, I just I felt like the poem just came out with ease. so I knew that it was from God. And, I think it was like, literally 20 minutes later that I'd copied and pasted. It was sent to, to send to Jessica, Jess, our our our, our group that we had our texting group,

::

Unknown

Yeah, I could do that. I'm trying to think of. Can we pause a moment? Okay, let me, let me pull it up, because I don't think I can do it on my phone. but I have it on my computer.

::

Unknown

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's good.

::

Unknown

Yeah. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Okay. Yeah.

::

Unknown

We are now. I think I've written more. I have, I have like five poems now that I've written because, it's something new for me. Like I said, I like to write. I would write down in journals and stuff like that, but, the poem thing was new for me, so.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah, I.

::

Unknown

Yeah. Yeah.

::

Unknown

I think so. I think I have, like, five now that I've written. Yeah.

::

Unknown

No. I think just kind of wrapping it all up. just again, that God had, You didn't just throw everything at me at once. He had a plan with, gradually, you know, giving me things that I prayed for, but also giving me things that I didn't even pray for. Like, again, I didn't pray. I didn't ask for tongues.

::

Unknown

I didn't ask for, being slain in the spirit. I didn't ask for, deliverance or and even really understand anything about it, you know? so just giving me things that I didn't ask for. But he knew I needed them, because I think that God is so personal with us with that, too, that I. He's different for everybody.

::

Unknown

That one person might not need to experience all those things where another person just like, feels the need to need. I don't know if you want to experience those different things. So I think it's so cool how he's so personal with us. But, but again, you know, like, I felt like I was losing friends. He gave me friends.

::

Unknown

he, gave me his mouthpiece to be able to write down everything, you know, with his poems and everything. He sparked something in my husband. He was opening, doors in my. With my dad. My dad's been on a, journey with Christ and, really, strengthening his relationship with Christ. And again, I think that kind of goes into, sometimes when we take a step of faith, it also opens things for other people, too.

::

Unknown

so, yeah, God's just really, really been working, in my life, along with my family's life through this move that I again, sometimes I think back and I'm just like, I have no clue how I packed up that stuff and put it in a truck and moved here. but he had a plan. A plan through it all.

::

Unknown

So. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah. So, one thing I really see God doing is, bringing together his people. even just, again, like us meeting and the way that we did and everything that I really feel like he's he's gathering his people. But I also think that God has, which is what he's been doing for a long time. But, he's so gracious and so merciful, and he wants people to come to him, you know, he wants people to, to know the love that he has for us.

::

Unknown

I mean, to think giving up your son to die on the cross, you know, for people that weren't even alive yet, obviously, I wasn't born yet. So people who weren't even walking the earth yet, people who were dirty, disgusting, you know, I we're all like that, you know, we're all dirty, disgusting people when it comes to this loving, awesome God that we serve.

::

Unknown

And I just, I yeah, I think again, he's bringing together his believers and he's also still just being so gracious and and loving and just wanting more people to come. He wants more people to, to know him and know the love that he has for all of us.

::

Unknown

Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yeah. so my prayer for the audience is to really experience our relationship with Christ. because it's so easy to fall into religion, you know, the things that, like. Like me and you, that we grew up in the church, this is what we knew. so. But but to actually experience a relationship with Christ and to understand what that is, everybody needs to experience that, again, and just to know that love that God has for us, that he, he just loves us so, so much.

::

Unknown

And I just want everybody to be able to experience that love that Christ has for us. and also unity. I want believers to be able to come together and just really be there for each other. Like I said, I didn't grow up really having Christian friends. and I can say that, like, now that I do, I don't know what I would do without my Christian friends like, you guys, you know, are really just such a staple in my life.

::

Unknown

And, you need that. You need people who support you, you know, and, not even just support you, but are willing to tell you when you're doing something wrong or what you need to fix, you know, like, that's so, so important. And a loving, godly way, to be able to have those people, so, yeah, just being able to unite instead of fighting against each other.

::

Unknown

and I believe it's in Corinthians that Paul has said that where he tells, tells them like, I don't have the exact words, but basically stop fighting with each other like it's it's Jesus. But like, we love Jesus, but he is like everything. Jesus is everything. The rest, you know, we don't know everything. There's going to be things that we're going to find out like, oh, well, you know, maybe I wasn't right in that.

::

Unknown

Like, we're not going to we don't know everything. We make mistakes for human, but we need to be there for each other and unite as Christians rather than arguing about what's right, what's wrong, you know, all the little things that that don't doesn't matter. It's like we need Jesus because he's the whole point. The reason. Yeah.

::

Unknown

Yes. Yes, I well, so I just want to say thank you to, for, for having me on. And, this has been a really cool experience as my first podcast had been on. So, it's just been really cool being able to share my testimony and, answer some questions. and I hope that this just blesses others and, that they can take something from my journey and, you know, apply it to their, to their life and help them through something that, they're going through.

::

Unknown

So. But yeah. So I will Prius out.

::

Unknown

Here. Lord, I just, I first want to come to God and thanksgiving. Lord, I thank you for, just this, this podcast and people being able to listen, Lord Jesus, to experiences that others have gone through, Lord Jesus, where they might feel alone, God that they're going through something that, they've not shared with somebody else.

::

Unknown

Lord, or don't think anybody else has gone through, Lord, that they feel all alone. Lord Jesus and I just ask right now, Lord Jesus, that this podcast would just touch their life to know that they're not alone. Lord. And, there's things, God that we all go through, that we all are going through some sort of battle, Lord Jesus, and you have a way out.

::

Unknown

You have a plan through it all, Lord, because you've already won the war. God. so I thank you for that, Lord Jesus. And again, I just ask that, everything that you had me share today, Lord, the questions that you had Christian ask God, I ask that it just, really touches, somebody's life, Lord, even if it's just one person through this podcast.

::

Unknown

Lord Jesus, that you take this and, just turn it into something big for someone. Lord Jesus.

::

Unknown

Lord Jesus, I just, I asked you help us as believers to just unite with one another, Lord Jesus, and to stop, arguing about the little things that that don't matter, Lord Jesus, and that we just, come to know and understand that we all love you, Lord Jesus.

::

Unknown

That we all love Christ. We love you, that you died on the cross for us, Lord. And that is what matters. God that you you rose again, Lord, so that we could be with you someday in heaven, Lord Jesus, and that we're going to be rejoicing and praising and, just spending all of our time with you, Lord Jesus, one day together, that all these things that, our might new things, Lord Jesus, that, that don't matter here.

::

Unknown

God, we make such a big deal that you would just put those to a stop, Lord Jesus, and just allow us to come together. God. And I ask Lord, that you, just continue doing what you do, Lord Jesus, that you would, continue to work on people's hearts, Lord Jesus, so that they can experience a true, authentic relationship with you.

::

Unknown

Lord. then it's it's Lord, it's more than just reading God. Your word is so good and so important, Lord Jesus. And, it's our fuel, Lord Jesus. But it's more than just reading God. We need to have that relationship with you, Lord Jesus, so we can take those words and apply it, Lord Jesus. And, just, use it as as part of our armor, Lord Jesus, to strengthen ourselves.

::

Unknown

Lord. so I ask the Lord that you just continue to strengthen those relationships, Lord Jesus. So as people are reading your word, Lord Jesus, that they're they're gaining that relationship with you, Lord, and becoming closer to you through it. It's more than just reading, reading words. Lord. I thank you, God, for everything that you've done in my life and the things you're continuing to do.

::

Unknown

I ask that you bless Christian through this podcast, Lord Jesus. And, all the work that he's doing and his wife is doing and Rachel's doing and, yeah, God, that you would just continue your work and continue doing these awesome things that you're doing. Lord, I thank you, Lord. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

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About the Podcast

Authentic Podcast
A faith-based podcast that equips the saints and preaches Christ crucified
You're tuned in to The Authentic Podcast, where we explore the transformative power of embracing the reality of Jesus Christ. As we embark on this journey together, we will navigate the depths of faith and discover the profound impact that Jesus has on our spiritual walk. In this space, you will find real and inspiring conversations about faith and how, as a believer, we should navigate the kingdom reality. We are excited that you are part of an adventure where authenticity and faith intersect. Welcome to the Authentic Podcast!
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About your host

Profile picture for Christian Searer

Christian Searer

I was saved by grace through faith. Called from darkness into light and forgiven of my sins. I have been made alive in Christ and purposed to declare His goodness on my life. I’m continually being renewed by the Holy Spirit and molded into the image of Christ.

I am who God says I am.

My desire is to widely share the authentic gospel of Jesus Christ. I want to model a lifestyle that is "worthy of the calling" and to be found approved.​

This is how I give back to God what is rightfully His.

This is the Authentic Podcast.